transitioning
It’s hard to understand, but I think I’m beginning to. We live on this side of a (seemingly) impenetrable wall – even those of us who are ‘people of faith’. Sure, we believe in Heaven (not just as a place, but more importantly as a state of being more in the presence of the Lord than we are now) but we don’t really have a visceral connection to the reality of it. At least, I never have. The day to day demands of this life are too strong a distraction. Maybe it’s an aging thing, but I’ve noticed the wall is growing a little thinner in spots. There are times when I sense my grip on this world and all it has to offer is loosening just a bit. Am I ready to die? No, but I’m able to ask God to loosen my grip on this world and really mean it when I ask. I’m beginning to feel the pull of someplace else, for lack of a better description. As I left work tonight I walked out of the harsh fluorescent light and stale building air and stepped out into the soft darkness of the deserted quad. The grass (yes grass – no snow here yet, amazingly) made a soft swishing sound as I walked. There was a chilly breeze on my face as I looked up into the dark, cloudless sky at the familiar stars hanging in the blackness. It’s hard to describe, but in that instant, all the stress and worries of the day that I’d been wrapped up in only moments before just didn’t seem important anymore, as if the wind just blew them away like so much dust. Instead I was talking with God. “Thank you for the beauty you continue to allow me to enjoy. Someday Lord, I want to walk with you through your grass, under your black sky filled with distant lights, feel your cool breeze on my face and just talk. No place in particular to go, just enjoying your presence and drinking in the beauty of what your hands have made.” I get the feeling that death is like that for a believer. One moment you’re all involved in this life, then you take a few ordinary steps forward, glance upward and suddenly everything’s different. Gone is the artificial light and stale air – you’re walking with the Lover of your Soul under an eternal starry sky.