September 2: Day Four

September 2: Day Four

Awake early again but slept better than the last couple of nights. More (quieter) tears this morning – I tried to avoid reading the new FB comments on yesterday’s post initially. Instead I was watching some regional air traffic on, checking out what the planes are, where they’re going, etc. Of course I had to stumble on a photo of somebody on a flight with a big dog asleep in her lap… there’s just no escaping it. I went back and read the new comments on FB then and the tears came. No convulsive sobbing though, at least, not today, not yet. I just feel very sad and a little sick.


I got a reply from the woman who runs – she had this to say: 


You have lost your best friend that loved you unconditionally. A love very different from a human love. We as humans are incapable of loving so perfectly as animals do – that’s why losing them is harder.


A commented this morning too and said: 


Our pups give us unconditional love and forgive much. They are a great example of God’s love for us. They are always happy, even ecstatic to see us and they never hold anything against us. They teach us how to give selflessly and how to be satisfied with little.


Again, true. I know I wasn’t worthy of Jackson or Bo (the chocolate lab retriever I had before we got Jackson). They were “just dogs”, but dogs are more noble than any human being – never mind me – could ever hope to be. I’m praying that both of them are somehow in the hereafter now, strong, healthy and happy and that they know how much I miss them. I hope there’s a joyful reunion in my not-too-distant future and that there will be wagging tails aplenty. Maybe the repeated losses I’ve had to endure are partly to make me ready to let go when my own time comes… Right now I don’t feel as attached to this life as I usually do. If I knew Jackson was there waiting for me, I think it would be a lot easier to let go. I miss my best friend. ?